CONSIDER YOUR FAMILY
- Heritage Church
- 6 days ago
- 7 min read
DAY 2 - January 6
Yesterday we focused on what it looks like to “consider your ways” when it comes to the big picture of these 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting, but for the rest of the week we are going to take time each day to “consider your ways” in specific areas of your life including your family, relationships, health, finances, worship, and surrender. And today is all about FAMILY!
Now, if you are a student or a single adult, don’t check out on me! When I say “family,” I am not only speaking to those with a spouse or kids of their own! Whether they be blood relation or chosen, and whether they live on the other side of the world or under the same roof, we all have those in our lives we consider family. And THOSE are the people we will be “considering” in our time together today.
Let’s start off by answering a few questions:
Who makes up your “immediate” family? (If you are a student or single adult, this might be your mom, dad, siblings, or even a sister from another mister or a brother from another mother. If you are married, this might include a spouse and/or children.)
What activities does your family enjoy doing together?
How many meals does your family eat together around the table each week?
How many distraction-free hours do you spend with your family each week?
Time spent with family can be both life-giving and soul-sucking, and at times these sentiments can be equally true at the very same time. Don’t believe me, spend a day or two with an adorable, yet bossy, 3-year-old. Their attitude absolutely drains you and makes you want to ship them off to military school (they take 3-year-olds, right?), but their cute little face and pudgy cheeks make you melt in an instant. See? Life-giving AND soul-sucking.
And it is this paradox that is “family” that can make it so easy for time truly spent together to become an afterthought or, dare I say it, something we low-key avoid. Far too often, we come home exhausted and drained from a long day of school or work and hibernate from family in an attempt to recharge. No wonder our family units feel so disconnected! Many of us have neglected the very thing that must be present for connection to form - TIME SPENT TOGETHER!
Yesterday, we read from Ezra chapter 1. Today, we are going to skip over Ezra chapter 2, which is essentially a detailed genealogy of the Jewish exiles returning to Jerusalem from Babylon after King Cyrus’ decree made in chapter 1, and we are going to read Ezra chapter 3 instead. So grab your Bible and take a moment to read those 13 verses. As you do, make sure to make note of anything that stands out to you, especially anything that alludes to / makes you think of the concept of family!
At first glance, you may not see clearly how this chapter is about family. However, I promise you, the themes are interwoven throughout! We see it first in verse 1, where Ezra writes “...the people gathered as one man…” (ESV), or as the New Living Translation puts it, “...all the people assembled in Jerusalem with a unified purpose.” No matter who you would say makes up your family unit, this verse defines the nature of family - together and unified! And we continue to see this theme of unity throughout the remainder of the chapter as we read that “...they built the altar…” (v 2), “They set the altar in place..” (v 3), “...they offered burnt offerings on it to the Lord…” (v 3), “...they gave money…” (v 7), “...together with the rest of the kinsmen…” (v 8), and “...all the people shouted…” (v 11).
This may not reflect your current family, but it’s what many hope for—no division, no estrangement, just a family united in building an altar and temple to the Lord. In contrast, Haggai 1:9b describes division:
“each of you busies himself with his own house…” (ESV)
Essentially, God’s people had begun to prioritize their personal comfort over their spiritual responsibilities. A pitfall many of us fall into when we allow life to dictate the state of our altars and temples (aka our family and home life), rather than building our life on the altar and tabernacle we have built to the Lord together. When we choose to neglect this spiritual building of our personal lives and our family life, we, too, have become guilty of prioritizing our personal comfort (I’m too tired, it just feels awkward, my kids will think I’m weird) over our spiritual responsibilities.
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV)
I am sure it is of no surprise to you that a lack of family connection is a very common issue. In fact, statistics show that 40% of U.S children lack a strong bond with their parents/guardians, and 70-80% of adults perceive their families as disconnected, some going as far as to call their family “dysfunctional.” Not only that, but roughly 1 in 4 Americans are estranged from a family member, only adding to the weight of loneliness and depression that is already heavy in the world today. There is no denying it, there is a clear and significant tie between the decline in family connection and the rise of family dysfunction and mental health.
But what can be done about it? You prioritize family! What does it mean to prioritize family? It might be easiest to answer that question by clarifying what it is NOT. Prioritizing family is NOT putting your kids and their wants above all else, buying them everything they want, and rushing them to every extracurricular activity under the sun. Prioritizing family is NOT allowing unhealthy relationships to rule your life simply because “they are family.” And prioritizing family is NOT a friendless life spent in isolation.
Instead, prioritizing family means intentionally setting aside quality time for family activities, shared meals, and important life events, even amidst busy schedules. It’s placing your immediate family first, protecting the family unit's peace and stability from outside influences and toxic dynamics. It’s care for one another, building a firm foundation of values, and making significant decisions TOGETHER! It’s being intentional, like the people spoken of in Ezra chapter 3, to “build an altar to the Lord” and “rebuild the temple of God” in your own heart and home!
What does it mean to “build an altar” and “rebuild the temple” in your own home? First, it means spending quality time together. After all, you can’t work together as a team if you don’t have a base of a relationship to build on and work from! Second, it means keeping God at the center of your home. Did you receive an unexpected blessing? Give thanks to the Lord, TOGETHER. Does someone in your family have a need? Pray over the matter TOGETHER. Do you want to draw closer to God? Don’t hide away in your closet (unless you have that 3 year old we were talking about earlier and that’s the only way you can get a moment to talk to Jesus…all you moms of littles know what I’m talking about…), but instead, consider taking time once a week to read the Bible together as a family or take time around the dinner table to celebrate God’s faithfulness from the day or share what He spoke to you in your quiet time with Him that day.
After all, this rebuilding of the altar and temple was not a private, solitary matter. Yes, different people played different roles; however, the rebuilding took place TOGETHER! And the same should be true as you build this kind of foundation in your own home and with your own family.
Now, with this new perspective and with your earlier answers in mind, ask yourself:
When was the last time we enjoyed a family activity together? And when can we get one on the calendar next?
When was the last time my family celebrated God’s goodness and faithfulness together?
When was the last time my family prayed together, beyond a simple prayer before a meal?
When was the last time my family came together and prayed for one another, whether over a need or the day ahead?
What roadblocks stand in the way of us doing these things that help to “build an altar and tabernacle” in our home?
What meals can my family enjoy together around the dinner table this week?
What evening can we set aside for some distraction-free family time this week?
What roadblocks stand in the way of spending more focused, quality time together as a family?
Now, just like yesterday, I want you to take that list and commit it to the Lord - taking the list of your personal desires and intentionally putting the action steps on hold, making it your goal to pray over each desire and deliberately "consider your ways." Ask the Lord to show you where your priorities may not align with His purpose, and then… get to planning! Talk with your family and decide on a healthy rhythm for focused family night fun, for regular family meals around the dinner table, and times to intentionally seek the Lord together. And as you do, don’t forget to discuss the roadblocks that stand in your way and brainstorm ways to overcome them…together…as a family!
Finally, I again challenge you not only to commit the verse below to memory, but also to revisit and reflect on it regularly. Let this verse guide you and motivate you to pause and consider your ways in the weeks, months, and years ahead - staying persistent and proactive in seeking alignment with His purpose.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 (KJV)
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